I know what I want it to sound like, I'm just too damn stubborn to let anyone help me. I know so many great drummers but I just can't fathom not doing it myself. So I write out these beats and practice the hell out of 'em. When it gets to a point, I hit record. And reCord. And REcord. Over and over, until I'm sure I've got something useable. All those sweaty hours, I've busted out the deodorant and the ice hasn't melted in two weeks.
Today I deleted all the drum tracks I have so far. Every fucking one of them. I was so bummed when I discovered that my overheads didn't get printed-- I need overheads-- that I didn't think twice about deleting, erasing, and erasing free space just to make sure they were gone for good.
Welcome to my weird world. I'm desperate to go out but I have too many tempo maps still to make. So I stay in with guitars and a monitor while the bands I want to see tear the roof off of some dive. I hung around with the wrong people and got lazy at one point in my life. Now I'm letting my OCD shine like hands scrubbed several times an hour.